So I’m talking to this girl and i think i finally found someone i can get attached to. I’m pissed at my friend for friday, we had a bonfire at his house and she was supposed to come but he said “no it’ll be awkward for everyone.” Which is bullshit cause he would’ve had to meet her anyways. So flash forward two days and we hadn’t talked all day, then i get a voicemail. Her phones broken so she called from her house phone. We talked for a while then i get home from clothes shopping she facebooks chats me. So i say hey lets go to a baseball game on tuesday…shes never been to a damn indians game. So this is perfect, a girl that i like thats interested in me. fingers crossed.

1 day ago  /  0 notes

I can’t believe the highs and lows I go through everyday. One minute I’m on top of the world, and the next it’s like boom I crash back down to earth. It’s not like a reason to be like this. I have great friends, a good job, and a relatively easy life. It just hit me though. I had an easy day of work, got a solid nap in, saw my best friend who I’d take a bullet for, and watched my bro get tatted today. I just don’t understand this, maybe it’s because of her. Every time I think I’m taking steps to get over her she creeps back in. I deleted her number, did the best I could to be short with her, but she insists on coming back and pulling every bit of sanity out of me. It shouldn’t even bother me anymore, I’ve realized that nothing is going to happen between us, and that we have complete different lifestyles and goals. For someone that has no interest in dating me or having a relationship with me she sure tries her hardest to give me hope. Today’s the first time in years that I’ve thought about hurting myself. It just seemed like the easiest solution for me, put myself through physical pain to get rid of the mental pain. I don’t know if I could ever do that but just the thought scares me. Not because of the people that I’d leave behind, but because what I’d put my family through. If this was a year ago I wouldn’t have to be talking to you tumblr, but life changes and now my best outlet is on the internet typing to people I’ll probably never meet. We’ll see how tomorrow goes but, I see a bottle of Bombay Sapphire in my near future.

1 week ago  /  0 notes